'Nothing compares to you'

 28th February 2022

As I scroll through my 2021 Facebook Memories, I notice a photo from the same day last year, my hubby and I running a 5k, all in aid of The Lily Jo Project, an online mental health self-help resource the lily jo project 

https://www.thelilyjoproject.com/

                                                               Chorlton Water Park - 28/2/21

Today, I have been instructed to drink a litre of water for a different reason - a  CT scan.

My first thoughts were "I wish I was doing that today rather than going to hospital!"

Fortunately, I did not dwell on these thoughts and whilst walking through the hospital it felt like I was really coming to the end of a 10 k run!

Feelings and thoughts of "I can't wait to finish this now" and "almost there, just keep pressing on to the finish!" kept coming to mind as I tried to guess how many times I had entered those hospital doors over the past four months..

It would be easy to compare how I feel today with how I felt on this day last year, but thankfully, I know I am in a different 'season' right now and my time for running will return very soon ( although I have recently began running 1k, albeit, slowly but it feels like I am slowly getting back to 'normal')

If I never ran a 5k or 10k ever again, I can still run for fun..

How often do we make comparisons with others?

 😒I wish I had her good looks

😒I wish my house was like theirs

😒Their children are so talented!

😒They earn far more than me!

😒I wish my family were like hers

....and so on . . 

However, we are all at a different 'stage' on our journey, and I believe someone, somewhere wants what you have, whether it's any of the above or something else. We have no idea of the 'behind the scenes' problems of our friends and others with whom we are comparing. They are probably wanting to be more like you in some way, if truth be known!

After six treatments, the Oncologist requested a CT scan then if all was well, a visit to Christies to remove my 'port' ( not looking forward to this, but hey, will take one step at a time)

I am finally, and hopefully near the end of My Chemo Journey - which has been hard, but I am astounded at the number of people who have read these blogs and been encouraged. Stepping Hill hospital has, for me, won numerous accolades in the past six months.

I am continuing my journey, although I am not quite at the 'finishing line', I am ALMOST there!👍

I hope you can continue in your own 'journey' - we are all unique - keep celebrating the gifts and positives you have in your life ( regardless of how small!)

                    I love these two quotes - 

Decisions, Decisions . . .😕

 February 10th 2022

Today I made a decision!

Let's face it, life is full of them ; trivial choices "what shall I have for tea?" to major choices , "is this the person I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with?" or  Am I in the right job ?

After feeling pretty rough after my last treatment on Jan20th, and having completed my first six treatments, I am half way through and have completed the majority of the course. The final six which I was about to commence were only 9% of the drug  ( Fluorouracil, 5 -FU) which is given over 48 hours after each visit. (I call it the 'baby bottle' )

Following  the usual bloods checks, low neutrophils ( a type of  white blood cell) were found in my blood. This is common in cancer treatment and the Oncologist would not allow me to continue whilst these were low.

Consequently, I have chosen to cease treatment and now await a scan.

This was a fairly big decision and it caused me to think about 'Choices'    😕

 But, how do we know if we have made the right choice ?

We can often think about our lives and remember all the poor choices, and forget the good ones (try making a list of all the GOOD choices you have made )

As a Christian, I pray before making any major decision and know my choice was the right one when I have  'peace' about it. If ever I am unsure or doubting in any way, I don't do it !

I have also often listed the Pros and Cons of each choice and asked myself the question, 'Is it the end of the world if I make the wrong choice here ?'

One thing I have learned over the years, is that 'restarts' are okay, too. We can begin again from where we are now.. I started a cleaning business at 55 and often had thoughts 'I should have started this earlier in life when I had more energy, and could have become a bigger company'

However, after five years, I knew I had made the right choice when I sold the company, knowing I had achieved something  worthwhile. I believe in 'moving on' and viewing our mistakes and wrong choices as 'experience' and good advice to help others. 

Although my current 'chapter' is almost over, I will endeavor to eat healthily, get fitter and enjoy quality of  life which I feel I have missed for the past four months.

I  am grateful to have shared my story with Bowel Cancer UK and two women's magazines ( watch this space) so I consider my chemo months to have been worthwhile!