Decisions, Decisions . . .😕

 February 10th 2022

Today I made a decision!

Let's face it, life is full of them ; trivial choices "what shall I have for tea?" to major choices , "is this the person I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with?" or  Am I in the right job ?

After feeling pretty rough after my last treatment on Jan20th, and having completed my first six treatments, I am half way through and have completed the majority of the course. The final six which I was about to commence were only 9% of the drug  ( Fluorouracil, 5 -FU) which is given over 48 hours after each visit. (I call it the 'baby bottle' )

Following  the usual bloods checks, low neutrophils ( a type of  white blood cell) were found in my blood. This is common in cancer treatment and the Oncologist would not allow me to continue whilst these were low.

Consequently, I have chosen to cease treatment and now await a scan.

This was a fairly big decision and it caused me to think about 'Choices'    😕

 But, how do we know if we have made the right choice ?

We can often think about our lives and remember all the poor choices, and forget the good ones (try making a list of all the GOOD choices you have made )

As a Christian, I pray before making any major decision and know my choice was the right one when I have  'peace' about it. If ever I am unsure or doubting in any way, I don't do it !

I have also often listed the Pros and Cons of each choice and asked myself the question, 'Is it the end of the world if I make the wrong choice here ?'

One thing I have learned over the years, is that 'restarts' are okay, too. We can begin again from where we are now.. I started a cleaning business at 55 and often had thoughts 'I should have started this earlier in life when I had more energy, and could have become a bigger company'

However, after five years, I knew I had made the right choice when I sold the company, knowing I had achieved something  worthwhile. I believe in 'moving on' and viewing our mistakes and wrong choices as 'experience' and good advice to help others. 

Although my current 'chapter' is almost over, I will endeavor to eat healthily, get fitter and enjoy quality of  life which I feel I have missed for the past four months.

I  am grateful to have shared my story with Bowel Cancer UK and two women's magazines ( watch this space) so I consider my chemo months to have been worthwhile!