"At your age?"

April 30th 2024

If you are following my blogs, you will remember that my last one finished 'I am pursuing motivational speaking'

No, I have not become the next Steven Bartlett or Mel Robbins, but after my last blog, I have completed 20 hours' training for a radio show at All FM 96.9!

At first, I thought the idea a little OTT. After all, I wasn't an avid radio-listener & with  potentially  17k  people listening to my voice, this sounded a little scary!

I have been grateful for the opportunity to meet new people & share my experience through training & been offered my own show 'Our Best Life' starting soon!

 

                                                              My radio trainees!

Many times, we hold back from trying new things because of what others may think! ( I love this )

On numerous occasions lately, I have had the comment "Why are you doing that at your age?" My reply is always the same, "Why not?"

After having worked through some issues, I am now intent on continuing to do what I want to do , whilst I have time, good health & energy!

I have realised from speaking to people, there is so much more we can give! I believe everyone has a 'story' & whether some parts of it may be not what we expected, unhappy & quite challenging, we may help ONE person by just sharing it.

On checking the stats for this blog, I can't believe how many read my journey (globally!!!); through chemo, after chemo & what's going on in my life NOW!

For me, as  'doors' of opportunity open, I believe they need to be pushed. If the 'door' doesn't happen to be the right one, that's fine too, at least I have tried!

I remember wanting to read a certain book as I thought I had missed out whilst at school.

I borrowed the said book from someone & only managed the first chapter! It was such hard-reading & not my 'cup of tea' at all!!

The idea of radio training didn't fill me with excitement at first, but after week one, I knew this was something I would love to do.

Just go for it, ( whatever 'it' may be for you ), regardless of age. Use your 'story' & experiences, try new things, places, hobbies, sports, social clubs, churches...👍

For me, asking myself a list of questions helps ;

'Why can't I do this?' ( maybe I can find someone to help me ?)

 Who/ what is stopping me?

How much do I really want this?

 Is this going to bring positivity/ help me create the life I really WANT?

Will this help & empower others?

( We ALWAYS feel better when we help others!!)

I look forward to presenting my first show, who knows where this will lead ?!

Like me, you are capable of so much more & by taking small steps towards it, you CAN make it happen!!"

Keep positive & go for it  (regardless of your age!)

 

 

The end can be the beginning!

 Jan 31st 2024

I like this! 

I have just completed a ten week Level 2 Counselling Concepts at College, where I have sat with students half my age! This was our final leaving thought on the whiteboard. 

It did feel like the END but I was pleased that most students had a plan for their future..

Yes, after being fifty years away, I have returned to a classroom! My school days held not so good memories & my reports always read "Barbara could do better if she cared" or "Barbara needs to listen more "

However, I am always wanting to achieve more out of life, (especially at 65), & this course has been great!

After looking at my 'moving forward' personal development, I noticed that through each 'storm' in my life ; chemo, divorce, debt, I have always tried to help others who are going through the same.

After this course, I now want to aim to be a Motivational Speaker..yes, it's big & yes, I have already had the comments "the market is flooded with those!" & "where are you going to start with that ?", but hey, as always, I have the attitude, if it works out, great & if not, that's great, too! At least I have tried.

Many times, we regret having taken a certain 'path' over the years, but I really do not believe there are 'wrong' paths, just ones that give us experience;

the job offer that we regretted accepting, the house we wish we had never bought, the holiday that was a nightmare  - the list is endless!!

However, as there is nothing we can now do with our past choices, all of the above (& more ) are to be treated as 'lessons' & there is always a chance & opportunity to begin a new chapter.

My college crew!

I am looking forward to my next 'chapter' 🙂 

I want to continue my theme of helping others & create some opportunities for Motivational speaking! 

The end CAN be the BEGINNING!

🥳

KEEP POSITIVE!

The end of the 'NEW' year!

31 December 2023

 This is the last day of 2023 & the final day of my 'new' year! On 1/1/23 I decided I wanted this to be the year of 'new' things ; places I wanted to go, goals I wanted to achieve, pushing myself harder, to stop saying 'I should have done that before", or "I'll do that one of these days"or " I don't think I could ever do that!" ( yes, I have said ALL of these on copious occasions!)

This year, I wanted to MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Here's my list ( some things you may think are a bit odd & your list of 'goals' will be completely different)

* Be a part of a Lily Jo Project video ( I have a keen interest in my daughter's mental health charity & wanted to be 'there' amongst the action!)

The lily jo project

* Run 5k with my son ( we had talked about this for three years Since I had started Couch to 5k!)

* Plank for three minutes ( my pilates teacher kept telling me I could do this, so I wanted to give it a try)

* Raise some cash for the LilyJo Project by skipping 50 skips every day for one month

* Read a Jane Austen book  (After a conversation with a friend, & not reading any of her books at school, I realised I had never read any of her novels!)

* A month of gratitude

Since chemo, I have been grateful for small things, so I wanted to find one per day for a month)

* Book a New year break

I have never been away at this time of year before & neither has my hubby, so we decided to do it!

* Have a coffee with someone in the 'goals for year' group I didn't know..

This is always good & stretches our communication skills!

* Run a 5k at Media City

Not ran an official 'run' since before chemo, so I wanted to give this a go with my running buddy

So, did I achieve all these & what did I learn?

As you can see from this photo, I am writing this from the lovely Harrogate where we managed a session at Turkish Baths yesterday, so I DID book my New year away.😁

My daughter wrote a book 'Talking to children about mental health' & she invited me to the video promotion for this. It was great to see what happens behind the scenes & how much time & effort is made.😁

My son was happy to spend an hour one Saturday & I loved running with him ( since chemo, this was the furthest I had done, too)😁

I borrowed a book from a friend but after one chapter, decided I didn't like it!! The language was too 'old' & hard to understand..😬

The coffee with my new goals group member was lovely & we both took away something positive from it. 😁

My 5k run had to be cancelled due to a foot injury two weeks prior to this!! My physio informed me there was no way I could run as it would make it worse!😬

My skipping was a huge success. After getting back into the technique ( thanks to my friend...) I managed to increase to 50 skips.😁

The plank was really tough & I had to take two months of building up ( adding 5 seconds longer each day), but I eventually did it😁

My month of gratitude was the hardest ! Yes, can you believe it!? I began by thinking of big achievements to be thankful for, when in reality, it's the small things I take for granted sometimes 🙏 

So, to summerize my year, I learn-

Don't be too hard on myself 👍 (there will be another opportunity to run my 5k )

Don't expect to like everything you try 👍

( my Jane Austen book wasn't for me, & that's okay....)

I CAN Push myself harder! 👍

( it doesn't take too much more effort to achieve. Five seconds per day got me to THREE minutes so every little helps!!)

It's fine to ask for help👍

 ( I wouldn't have achieved my year without accountability partners & friends alongside me, spurring me on)

Get out of my comfort zone!👍

( Nothing is achieved by sitting thinking about it! We booked our Air B&B in advance so we knew it would be done!)

THANKS! to all who have helped me through 2023!💪

My 24 will be even stronger & I'm ready for more NEW things/ challenges...

Long blog but hey, you read it to the end 🥳

Happy New Year!!

Beach thoughts

 Thurs 10th August 2023

This past week, I have spent a few days in Anglesey, where there are copious beautiful beaches, walks and water sports!🌞

This particular beach had a great strip of water on this particular day, for young children to paddle in, & I noticed that adults, too were happy to use it for their enjoyment!

This strip of water was only a few inches deep, but sufficient for  a dinghy or surf board. It was lovely to watch adults playing with children,  enjoying the fun!

The sea, on the other hand was full of serious surf boarders, jet skis, windsurfers, paddleboarders, some of whom had lots of experience in watersports!

Maybe some of the shallow water folks were too scared to venture into the vast, deep sea because of many reasons;

                                       😕   Unable to swim

                                       😕  Wanting to please others ( children, friends etc)

                                       😕    Never been in the sea before

                                                                       😂  Watched 'Jaws' too many times!

😃Or, maybe they were simply content in the shallow water ?

Whatever their reasons, I see this just like life- people are fearful of 'dipping their toes in' lest anything goes wrong.

Have you ever had someone suggest something to you that sounds too crazy to believe it could ever happen?

I loved this Bible verse today, too ! 

'How we think determines our life!'

I have read, and love reading 'Inspirational-type  books written by several authors;'  Steven Bartlett, Susan Jeffers, Hal Elrod, James Clear, Joyce Meyer, but before all these authors wrote and spoke about this, it was here first in the Bible  circa 1050 B.C! ( who knew?)!

There is nothing WRONG with staying in that shallow water and enjoying ourselves, but I believe so many people miss opportunities that life throws at them because of the reasons mentioned above ; pleasing others, fearful, happy in their 'comfort zones'  This all comes down to CHOICE

How do we know if we have the ability to do or achieve something unless we give it a try.? Some of the ones in the shallow water today will never know what they can achieve in the vast sea because they never tried.

For me, I don't intend just dipping my toes and remaining in that shallow, small bit of water! I believe there are many more opportunities ahead to experience & it's my choice if I take them or not. Sea is like Life - vast and deep!

It's interesting that 'Self prophecy' is a 'thing' and  we BECOME what we TELL ourselves.

I am currently reading 'Miracle Morning' (Hal Elrod) and he gives a great example of  'self prophecy' - why people struggle to get out of bed each day - the main reason being

                                        "I am too tired"

Yes, we have all said it - but in reality, we are starting the day with a negative comment and our brain will tell our body "you will struggle to do anything today because you are too tired, you need more sleep" (Hal Elrod did an experiment , setting his alarm one  hour longer each day, yet at the end of the week, he still felt tired on waking!)

Going back to the people in the shallow water - maybe they need a push into the sea ( I don't mean a physical one!) someone to encourage them, or even join them ...

I would never in my wildest dreams have thought that I was capable of writing two books, running 10k, creating a company with 75 clients, selling the company and managing to get up early twice per week to meet a running 'buddy'! These were ALL achieved with help and encouragement from family and friends 

Think about the things you would love to do with your life and list the reasons  you COULD make them happen, then actually MAKE IT HAPPEN!

At 64, I have more opportunities and experiences ahead and whatever your age, so have you!

As this blog is Chemo-related, I better add a few sentences about my thoughts after chemo ;

My Oncology nurse rings me every few months, and one of her questions last time was

"How is your mental health, and do you think differently after your treatment?"

I must say, since treatment, I am more determined to look after by body as best as I can and take as many opportunities and experiences that come my way. Life is short and we all have friends, family, colleagues that are willing and able to help us achieve as much as possible👍

Launch into that deep sea!

                                                               Beaumaris

Check the label

 Sunday May 28th 2023

Today, I had the privilege of speaking to a homeless guy!
This was not my usual Sunday morning, but I must admit, I learned a lot , hence this blog ( which, this time is nothing to do with Chemo!)

As I am currently reading a book by Steven Bartlett,  (I love biographies, especially the 'rags to riches' type !), my conversation with 'Paul' seemed really good timing.

We approached 'Paul' in Stockport town Centre who was typically homeless, sat on a corner with a sleeping bag covering him & a pair of crutches alongside.

He looked much older than his 61 years but immediately he was willing to chat & I asked him if he minded telling us his 'story'

It sounded familiar ;'Fallen out with his family, bad choices, been a bit of a 'rogue' and now, health issues after years of poor living..

He was just a normal guy who had allowed his 'bad choices' to consume him.

He finished his 'story' by saying "that's just me, it's just the way it is"

Immediately I knew he had placed a 'label' on himself ( as people often do!)

My previous chapter in 'Happy Sexy Millionaire' was all about 'labels' ; trying to be like others, earning as much money as your friends, looking good, 'keeping up with the Jones' etc so I was ready with my reply, and questions for him ..( all in a nice way, of course)👍

"Is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life?

Sixty one ( his age) isn't young, but it's not old either and I reminded him that he still has time to achieve something.

Parents, friends, colleagues can tell us "we are hopeless, we'll never be clever, we'll never make anything of our lives" etc and Steven Bartlett's story ( and so many others, too) are  proof that this is UNTRUE!

Further into the conversation ( I was glad that I had a friend and church member alongside me, who was also adding  positive input) 

My next question to 'Paul' ; "What small step can you take right now to make your life better?"

He very quickly replied " I want to get my leg sorted out"

I suggested he made a visit to A& E the very next day ( he promised he would go)

Although he didn't know it, he had just made the POSITIVE decision that could turn him in the right direction.

So often, we settle for our 'label' and think there is nothing we can do about it

😢Too old

😢Not clever enough

😢No good education

😢No positive friends around us

😢Made poor choices in the past

                          "could have, would have, should have"  etc . . 😏

I have now put some positive labels on myself over the years, instead of using the excuses listed above;

💪Runner ( yes, I AM a runner, although I can't run as fast as Mo Farah, I regularly run therefore I am        a 'runner'!)

💪Author ( Yes, I have written two books, maybe not as famous as Agatha Christie yet, but I am still                           an  'author' )

💪Successful business Owner ( Yes, not quite Sir Alan Sugar, but I have built a business and sold it!)

I gave 'Paul' his two choices ; 1/ remain sitting here on the streets forever or 2/ Take one small step in a positive direction to improve his situation and take each small step from there.

The bad news regarding his leg that he has received in the past, may not be as bad as he thinks ..

His family's reaction to him may not be anything as bad as he expects .....

We walked away, after thanking him for allowing us to chat and pray for him, both 'over the moon' that we hade tried to make just ONE person's day (or maybe LIFE) better.

He told us we had made him feel so much better so, JOB DONE!!

Get rid of your negative labels!👎          Take a first small step...

                                                       This is the Peace Bridge - DERRY

                                                              Peace to you all !🌟🌟🌟

                                                            I am off to finish my book📘

You never know!

 April 16th 

If you have been following my blogs from the onset, you will know that I started these from day one of my chemo treatment - to encourage myself and see the positives through this and also to encourage others going through similar. 

I never expected from that first blog that I would be appearing on Granada Reports ITV, as part of the NHS Bowel screening Awareness campaign!

I was encouraged to begin blogging by a good friend, who visited me & set it all up, as I had never done anything like this before.

Thoughts of "who will want to read about MY story?" soon changed as I noticed that people in Ireland, USA & Sweden were regularly reading them!

Bowel Cancer UK then asked if I would write my experience for them, followed by a short video for their website & socials.

I then had an unexpected email from a company who were promoting on behalf of NHS bowel screening asking me to appear on ITV & 'That's TV' channels sharing my story!

Of course, I accepted, & a few weeks ago, I recorded a 1.5 minute piece which was so much fun! It included running in my local park !

The aim was to encourage others who receive their bowel screening kits, to do the test immediately, despite ( like myself) being fit and healthy with no symptoms. 

I believe in taking any opportunities in life & 'feeling the fear & doing it anyway' ( I love this book!)

Yes, we are nervous of experiences that are completely out of our comfort zones, but we will never know if we can do it or enjoy it unless we give it a try.!

Thinking back, I have had a few experiences that have 'escalated' after  just taking that first step;

👉I began a cleaning business back in 2012, with ONE person ( me!) and over time, I trained others to work alongside me , resulting in seven cleaners and seventy five clients! I sold this company in 2018!

I could have easily kept this to working alone, not making much cash, but I decided to take the opportunity and  build it. Reading stories of other small businesses and their methods of growing really spurred me on.

👉In 2020, to occupy our boring hours, my hubby & myself began Couch to 5k ( this was literally 'something to do' as running was NEVER my thing & I didn't expect for a minute I would complete the course! However, I was surprised at how far I could actually go & with my hubby's three-weekly encouragement, we both did it!

Following on from that, I ran a 5k for The Lily Jo Project & in June 2021 I did a 10k with another friend!

The purpose of this blog is to reinforce the 'small beginnings' & NEVER to dismiss them!

We really CAN do things we never thought we could do & I am thankful for all the negative times in my life that I have managed to turn into positives.

Start small & move at ONE step at a time. I love setting achievable goals & having something in my life to aim for.

I look at the 'big achievers' in the World ( I have read Lord Alan Sugar's autobiography, to name one) & always remember they had to start from the beginning, and through hard work & determination, they make it!

Keep going ! You never know...

What do you see?

 1 March 2023

Two weeks ago, I was privileged to enjoy a make up & photoshoot as a belated birthday present from my family.

I decided that, now I had lost one stone since finishing chemo, I deserved a treat / celebration.

The morning was so much fun with a great make up artist & photographer, who both made me feel at ease & so much 'fun' ( I have never had a make up or photoshoot before)

I couldn't help remembering, as I looked in the mirror at my nicely made-up face & nice clothes ( that now fitted me !)    that it wasn't too long ago that I looked & felt so different.

Whilst on chemo, my energy level was pretty much zero & although I tried to make the most of myself on 'good days', I still felt like another person!

A short walk up the road was too much & I could hardly walk around my flat without holding onto furniture & walls as I had no strength.

Since chemo, I must say, I have learned to look after myself & appreciate my health.

I now take nothing for granted & appreciate my body so much more.

Therefore, I decided , from now on, I would do all I can to keep myself feeling fit & healthy;

 💪Eat healthily ( although I will allow myself occasional cake & chocolate !)

💪Exercise - I love to run & I am now in a twice-weekly routine with a friend and 'accountability partner'. By joining me, she has also lost 12 lb so far, so, happy days !

I am in the habit of getting up earlier & meeting her for a run.

The weekly Pilates class I attend will ensure I maintain good strong core strength & bone density as I get older.

💪Keep a healthy weight - I have now achieved the weight I feel happy with & weigh myself weekly ( I have a small accountability group who do this, too)

💪Achieve twelve monthly goals - two months in & I am loving this! Setting twelve goals for the year & making them happen! February was Charity month, so I decided to raise some cash for The Lily Jo Project by doing 50 skips ( never skipped since leaving school!) 

This was so enjoyable and whilst losing a few calories, I raised over £100,too!  

Maybe you are going through chemo right now & all of the above seem far too much to even dream of at the moment, let alone , achieve!

Maybe you have no intentions of running , skipping etc, but you WILL have dreams and goals for your future. MAKE THEM HAPPEN! Start to make a list of places, things, people , hobbies ...

Maybe you have just completed your chemo treatment and don't know where to start - I hope some of the above ideas will inspire you to get back into routine and daily living. Continue to take one day at a time & keep thinking in a positive way. Having positive people around me has helped me so much, too. 

I love the saying "choose your tribe" (I heard this some time ago) and I certainly have chosen mine ; people who inspire me, work with me, encourage and support me. To all those, and my amazing family, I say 'THANK YOU' so much !

💓